just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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