he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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