you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
