At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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