I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
