Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
