Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize