u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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