Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
