Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
