somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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