His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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