The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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