We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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