Dual....:-)
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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