belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
