This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
