somebody snuck up and got me drunk
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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