I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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