Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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