Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
