I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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