Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
