I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize