she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
