I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
