i permit you to call me
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Randomize
