I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
