I need help removing her.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
