I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
