Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
