At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
