I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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