SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize