My first STD was from a foam party
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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