I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I think I sprained my soul last night
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
