You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
