Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
