hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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