You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
