I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
