I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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