i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
