We're facebook friends in real life
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
