if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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