Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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