I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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