Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
BRING THE BAGELS
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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