so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
