your parents love me but you hate me
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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