Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
