My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
that may or may not have been my penis.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
