This dress was meant to end up on your floor
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
