how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
It was confusing and full of hummus
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize