oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
