i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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