margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Sext me about skeletons
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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