You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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